Don't Let the BedBugs Bite

Several years ago, before the gaggle, Andy and I lived in Tucson. He was playing AAA for the Diamondbacks at the time and the main responsibility in my life was

the dog.

He was a puppy and I was seriously in love.

I had been warned by a friend who had lived in the area her whole life about scorpions and tarantulas. She mentioned that at Buike's size (at the time he weighed about 3 lbs.) a sting by one of these creatures could be deadly.

She then went on to tell lovely stories of her sister putting glasses at the base of the legs of her babies beds so that the aforementioned scorpions and tarantulas couldn't climb into them. And bite them.

SCORPIONS AND TARANTULAS. IN THEIR BEDS.

She also said there were nights where they could hear tapping sounds on the glasses when the BIG HAIRY SCARY CREATURES were trying to climb up the sides.

I'm in denial about that last one. I think she was making it up.

So, late one night I'm up reading in the living room. The Buikester is cozied up at my side on the couch and I happen to catch movement out of the corner of my eye.

MOVEMENT!

OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE!

It was the dreaded scorpion. I grabbed Buike, ran screeching down the hall, woke Andy up, who came running back down the hall in his skivvies and beat the thing with a shoe.

All while I'm fussing about how it could have killed the dog.

KILLED! THE DOG!

Two seconds after mentally preparing myself to tell Andy that Buike and I were moving to Alaska, I stopped and looked at the thing. It was about an inch long. If that.

Then I realized I may have over-reacted.

Not that I do that.

After that night, I wasn't so paranoid. We later saw a few more the little critters as well as a tarantula who was waltzing down the sidewalk.

Just taking his hairy self for a moonlight stroll.

Because that's normal.

Fast forward about 7 years and three adorable children later and we're back in the desert. With tarantulas, scorpions and oh yeah, wild pigs.

I forgot about those.

I blame the children.

Anyway, I tried to put it in the back of my mind. The girls are all at a size where a scorpion sting would be annoying but not lethal. And what are the chances that would happen, anyway?

Don't answer that.

And then, last week I was putting away Lainey's laundry when I spotted this




I had a mini, but silent panic attack.

After I uncurled myself from the fetal position I took a closer look. Thankfully it was just a piece of carpet.



Can you say HALLELUJAH? I did.

A mere minute later, Lainey shrieked like the 4 year old girl that she is

BUGS! MOM! HUGE! BUGS!

She also rarely over-reacts.

But I ran into our room, where I had left the girls playing blocks.

Only now they were all three sprawled on their tummies, checking out the BUGS that were under our bed.



I'm taking the dog and we're moving to Alaska.