Of Course You Did

Yesterday was long. It was just one of those days.

So after we got the exhausted Littles to bed, I had Lainey in the tub. I decided to soak my feet in the warm water and wondered why I hadn't thought of it before. We chatted about toes and nail polish, you know, important things.

Then my sweet, precious, innocent almost three year old looked up at me with those bright baby blues and said,

Mom, I peed in here.

Sigh.

She Works Hard for No Money

Well folks, it's time. Time for one of those posts where we learn something and are all the better for it. Some people publish favorite recipes, which I am all for, except most of the time, I don't have half the ingredients needed (what in the world is turmeric, anyway?). What about making a quick trip to the store, you're thinking. Ah, friend, these days, there is no such thing.

I mean, by the time I pack the diaper bag, find Lainey's shoe, change Emmy's diaper, find Lainey's other shoe, change Emmy's diaper again because she's pooped, try to find matching socks for the littles, now Anna's spit up, where are the keys, get them in the car, buckle them in, find my sunglasses.......shoo-wee, now I am no longer hungry for what I was gonna make, and I can't remember where I put my list.

Although, someday soon I would love to make these because I have heard that they are UNbelievable. Not that I've actually tasted them,
because it would involve a trip to the store.

And I might have to turn on the oven.

So lets move on to the lesson. A step-by-step approach to something we could all use in these harsh economic times.

Money laundering.

Now, by money laundering, I mean actually washing your money. To be clear, I mean coins, because who would wash bills, that would just be silly.

This started because my sweet husband gave my two year old all the coins out of his piggy bank. Stop giggling, it's completely appropriate for a 32 year old man to have one, we've all got to start saving these days. Anyhoo, she LOVES her collection. Just like her littles, she pours them into cups, carries them in her pockets and spends minutes hours entertained by them every day.

But oh, the stink.

Her hands were smelling so gross every time she played with them. You know, that yucky, musty, metal, just played with money smell?

I was washing her hands 83 times a day. That's in addition to the 34 times we were washing because of potty trips and swine flu prevention.

So I decided, instead of washing her hands all the live long day, why not just wash the coins?*

Some days, I am just that good.

We started with a good ole soak in the sink with really hot water and some not to be mentioned soap. I would post a photo, but I don't have one. You're going to have to use your imagination. Forgive me. I have twins.

Then we swished them around a bit for good measure, and rinsed them off.




Never want to miss a teaching moment for my girl......



The final step is to simply let them air dry. The sun is an amazing tool when it comes to getting stains and stink out.


<

No joke, these things cleaned up quite nicely. They may have been a little too shiny because Emily crawled right into the glass door and bruised her noggin. I think she was blinded by the light. That or she may need glasses. And a helmet.

So there you have it. A penny saved is a penny that could be cleaned.


You're welcome.



*just for the record, I still wash her hands after she plays with them, because um, ewww!

Twinnie Tuesday

We are seriously ahead of schedule in the Green household. You may be thinking, hmmm ahead on what? Did she get the winter clothes swapped out with the summer ones?

Um, no.

Did she get the house winterized and the girls flu shots?

I really don't know what that first thing means, and I tried to get the shots, I truly did, but our pedi is out until November (grrr). I guess they haven't seen the 8 million commercials stating the importance of prevention.

Maybe she got ALL of their Christmas shopping done.

bwahahahahahahahaha. No, that is most definitely not it.

I guess I should clarify that when I say we, I mean Emily.

Are you ready for this one? She's crawling. And by crawling I mean up on all fours, one limb in front of the other, no weird army schooching (sorry Lainey!) crawling.
A big shout out to Anna Grace who is also up on all fours and will be joining baby b shortly, I am sure.

I guess it's time to baby proof, or buy kiddie leashes.

Totally kidding.

I think.

In the chompers department, Anna is up by one, with a grand total of two bottom teeth. Mommy Emily just might go a little cuckoo if her second one doesn't make an appearance in the near future tomorrow.

Now onto the gratuitous photos of my girlies. I love them more and more every day. Especially Lainey, because she's starting to do things on her own. Like get snacks.

 

Okay, so I don't love one more than the other. How could I not adore these faces, even when they are planning their escape?

 

My sweet Anna Grace

 

And the ever feisty Emmy

 

Now that I think about it, I am slightly ahead of schedule. Here's a preview of our Halloween cuteness....

 

much love,

Jess

God is Bigger than the Boogeyman

A while ago the Boss took me on a little get-a-way adventure. When I mentioned to my mom where we were going she said

really? I thought you all were hotel, room service kinda people.

Yeah right, Nana. We are SO into the outdoors thing. Camping is my life.

So long as camping includes electricity, a jacuzzi tub, a dvd player, and air conditioning.

We were just west of the the middle of nowhere. I would show it to you on a map, but Christopher Columbus and his people haven't gotten there yet. It was the most gorgeous, peaceful setting. When we first arrived all we could do was stare at the water and wonder how it was possible for it to be that quiet.


Then we took a little nature walk and did what most people do. We threw rocks at trees (Andy) and swatted the bugs (Jessie). Okay, so I threw a few rocks, but I wasn't hitting anything. At all. On purpose or accidentally. That is until Andy gave me some pointers and I totally hit one the first time I tried it his way. Huh, it's like he does this for a living, or something.

Moving on.

That evening we were enjoying our dinner on the deck when the bees decided to join us. So we quickly made our way, along with the food, back into the cabin. We ate, we I drank, we played 83 rounds of Sequence, roasted marshmallows over a candle ( I know, so roughing it!) and then settled in for a movie.

Now when you're just west of the middle of nowhere, it's really dark. I mean, can't- see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark; which for movie watching is awesome. Right up until we reached that scene in the movie where the bad dude is gearing up to go shoot anyone who stands in his way and then in real life we hear

clang! bang! boom! crash!

Oh crap.

Right outside our door, on the deck, the bad guy had arrived to shoot us, and apparently he was as clumsy as me.

Andy jumped up, and I told him to turn on the lights.

Why? he asked.

Because everything is less scary in the dark! I said.

He laughed at me, and then obliged. Although he pointed out that now scary noise maker could actually see us, since we turned the lights on for him.

Whatever.

Neither of us was brave enough to see who/what was making the noise so we watched the last 14 minutes of the movie with the lights on. (Ha, I told him it would make it better).

Then we had a choice. Do we look outside, or not?

We went with option a, and I got ready for bed. Only I couldn't sleep, because the windows were open in the bedroom (who needs fresh air?!?!). I just knew if I got up to close them, the bad guy would slice through the screen and get me.

My husband took care of it. Not only did he close the windows, but he slept on the side of the bed closest to the door while holding a boat oar.

Hmm, a boat oar, you're thinking. Not the best choice for a weapon.

You work with what you have, people. You work with what you have.

Then I did what I hadn't done in a blue moon. I slept. Ultimately, this was the goal of the getaway. I have pretty much been tired since February. I am blessed to have alot of help from my family, but even when I sleep, it's with one eye open, waiting for a sweet little girl to need me.

Andy knew this. He knew that if he didn't lay beside me and say, it's okay, I've got this one, you rest - I wouldn't have. I fell asleep knowing that if the bad guy jumped through the window, or even worse, if a spider crawled into our bed, Andy had it covered.

God is like that. He's sitting at the doorway, holding an oar, ready to knock the obstacles out of your life. He wants you to rest.

Just lost your job and stressed about the bills? Rest.
Have a rebellious child who won't listen to your wisdom? Rest.
Lost your spouse to cancer? Rest.
Feeling lonely? Rest.
Tired of the same old battles you face? Rest.
He's right there, waiting for you to give it to him, whatever it may be, and rest.


.................................................................................



The next morning I bravely stepped out onto the deck, prepared to to face the beast. That, and I had left my library book out by the porch swing, and who really wants to pay late fees? To my dismay, I found this.......




Maybe we should have double checked our clean-up efforts after the bees chased us inside. Apparently the smell of meat attracts animals, or something. All I know is, next time we go camping we should really consider renting a much less intense movie.

Tubas and such

When you are a newlywed, you tend to gloss over certain things. Like, oh honey, I know you'll put the toilet seat down next time, besides, I like the refreshing feel of cold water on my booty at four in the morning. Or, you forgot to take the garbage out? No problem, those swarming flies looked hungry anyway.

But some things, you may want to pay a little more attention to.

We knew each other pretty well by the time we got married. We had dated since high school and then there was the engagement period that we now refer to as "when time stood still". It only lasted 3ish years, but seriously, it was long.

During that time we talked about a lot of things, including our future children and what we thought they would be like. We had lots of laughs over the possibilities that lay ahead. His athletic ability, my height, his charm, my eyes, his smile, my musical inclinations, his brains...did I mention my height?

Then there was the flip side, which was equally entertaining. They could have his height, my athletic ability, his vocal stylings, my need for orthodontia, his hair line, my lack of love for a good mathematical equation...

and that's when I asked

What if you, Mr. Professional Athlete, have a son who plays the tuba in the marching band?

He didn't even hesitate to say - then I will learn to love the marching band. (Okay, he hesitated a little, give him a break, will ya, people?).

Then we had Lainey. As a paranoid first time mom, I was reading everything I could about milestones and when infants should be doing what. She never really rolled over, but I thought - hey, she's just a content baby, no problem with that. At six months she sat up, hallelujah, we're right on track. And then she sat. And sat some more. For the next.five.months.

Girlfriend didn't want to roll, never really cared to crawl and pulling herself up?
No thanks, my mom can hold me.

Finally, at the ripe old age of 17 months, she walked. It was a bloomin' miracle. We had to make an appointment at the Shriner's Hospital because her feet turned out so far, but hey, she was walking!

Then I got pregnant with the Littles.

Sometime during my pregnancy, Marcia, a dear family friend, sent my old pediatric medical records to my mom. What a gift!

Um, no.

As we were skimming through them, my hubby came across a form that my mom filled out for my 3 year well child visit. There were lots of questions but one in particular caught his attention.

Please put this piece of paper on the ground. Can your child jump over it?

She circled "no".

I laughed so hard I had to pee.

My poor hubby. He thought his genes were stronger than mine. But hey, I have done my part. Our girls are going to be seriously tall.

Which should help when they have to carry that big old glockenspiel in the marching band.

Nostrils are SO entertaining!

I have never really had to child proof the house. Lainey wasn't one to put things in her mouth, or climb things. Let's face it, she didn't walk until she was 17 months old, so I had it pretty easy in the keeping-up-with-the-baby department.

She has always enjoyed playing with small things. Marbles, checkers, and these seriously tiny beads she calls "littles" (hence the name for our girls!) are her go-to toys. She loves to put them in cups and pour them back and forth, or just carry her "jewels" around, showing off her treasure to anyone who cares to see it.

One night, a few weeks ago, while she was eating dinner, I said something to her from my seat on the couch (feeding a baby - it's what I do). Oddly, she was staring at the wall and wouldn't even acknowledge my voice. If you've met her, you know that girlfriend rarely passes up an opportunity to chat. After several attempts to get her attention (Lainey Hope, look at mama!), my mom meandered over to the table, took a look at our gal and said

um, we have a problem.

Then she started to giggle.

I jumped up, ran over to the table and there she was - my girl, sitting in all her glory, with peas stuck up her nose.

Not just any peas, mind you.

They were dried peas.

Know what happens when dried foods get stuck into snot filled nostrils?

They REHYDRATE.

Yep, just let that thought sink in for a moment.

So, I gathered my wits about me, as well as a nose-sucker, tweezers, and a flashlight. (Not really sure what the flashlight was gonna do for me, but it seemed like a proper tool).

Now she's crying, because she realizes this isn't going to end well. My mom keeps saying, I think you're gonna have to go back to the twilight clinic (we'd been that day for Emmy's pink eye), and I am determined to get these little boogers (bwahaha, I am too funny!) on my own.

Or call a friend to do it for me.

Unfortunately, my good friend and neighbor, Courtney, wasn't home.

So it was all on me.

If this should ever happen to you, please note the following. If your toddler hasn't fully grasped the concept of blowing his/her nose, now is not the time to try to teach it. Because now the peas have climbed higher up and she's telling me it hurts.

Oy vey.

Eventually, between the nose sucker and the tweezers, her tears and my giggles, we got them out. Two of them actually, one for each hole.

I did use the flashlight, for good measure, just to make sure there wasn't anything else up there - like maybe chocolate chips or something.

You know, for dessert.

Twinnie Tuesday - Cereal!

My little Anna has literally been chomping at the bit to start solids. She stares, drools and even sometimes growls at anyone who dares to eat in front of her.



(Poor Grandpa didn't even finish his sandwich, he felt so bad for her. Bless him.)

So I promised my little starving gal that when we got back from our trip to Columbus, we would start cereal. She clapped in delight and got a twinkle in her eye. I guess it could've been gas, but regardless, she was definitely excited.

Emily wasn't really showing any signs of being ready, but being new to the twin thing, I couldn't feed one and not the other! Heaven forbid! I just knew that if I only fed Anna, years from now, in some therapist's office, my Em would be pouring her heart out about how I fed her sister first, leaving her to waste away.

Turns out, I probably should have waited for Emily to start. Because, well, just check it out for yourself.....

note the sour face? poor Em, she shuddered, she hated it so much


one more try, um, no, this is not for me....


Anna giving it a go...


hmm, this has definite possibilities.....


and then, Em tried desperately to stop Anna from eating any more of that drivel


So I jumped the gun with Baby B a little bit. Guess I really do have to treat them as individuals. I am continuing to give Anna a little "lunch" every afternoon.

I just make Emmy watch.

We are so going to be on Dr. Phil.