Saturday, January 11, 2014

Some Words About Some Things

Four things. The first one has been troubling me for years. I  have attempted to conquer this beast using several different methods, none of which have worked. You may want to sit down for this:

I make a very dry pot roast.

Some have been drier than others but this last week was the worst. I knew I was in huge trouble when I pulled that sucker out of the oven and the meat thermometer read 180*. (Quick question about meat thermometers in general ~ If one has accidentally been slammed into the kitchen drawer to the point that it is now bent in half, how accurate would said thermometer be? Just want to be prepared. In case that should ever happen here.) Andy tried to make me feel a little better by reminding me how much he enjoys beef jerky. The boy was not that far off.

So help me, my dear ones. How do you make your pot roast? I want to conquer this before I turn forty.

It's good to have life goals.

Speaking of goals, the bathroom sink is still working swimmingly. Except for yesterday, when Emily came running out of there with the hot water handle in her hand. While the water was still running.

For the record, I fixed the cold side.

I think.

Speaking of Emily, the other day we were driving along, jamming to some tunes when she asked me how old I was. I answered her and continued singing with Reba until she blurted out

Is that old enough to die?

Me: Um, well, yes. Technically any age is old enough to die, but I'm not an old lady and I don't plan on dying anytime soon.....

Then I turned up the volume and kept singing because I really didn't like where this line of questioning was headed.

MOM! (turn down volume)

When you die, are you going to give me any money?

Note to self: reread the story of the prodigal with the girls (Jesus Calling Bible Storybook) and make sure they get the moral of the story.

Speaking of dying (dude, I'm nailing these transitions), I'm taking bets as to whether or not these plants will make a come back. I feel pretty good about the one in the middle. And the one on the right, seeing as I've never killed a fake plant. Yet. The other two are struggling because I'm their owner I moved them into our master bathtub to water them and give them a chance to drain.

Before Christmas.

And I totally achieved the drainage goals. Those things were about as dry as well, pot roast.

Also, lest you be concerned about my bathing patterns, we don't use that tub because I broke the jets.

Don't want to talk about it.

Which leads me to my last thing. Aside, from the stellar roasting advice I'm sure you all will be sending my way, I could use a little information on the following:

1) door bell repair
(I replaced a cracked buzzer a few years ago, now it doesn't work at all)
2) how to fix the jets in a jacuzzi tub in three easy steps
(see above)
3) figuring out why the Kenmore is freezing my  velveeta hummus, on the fridge side
4) making the landscape lights shine again 
(someone, who's name rhymes with Llama tripped over one of the lanterns causing the whole system to go dark) 
(it was an accident)
(I was walking back from the mailbox saving a child from killer bees)

So there you have it. My spring to-do list. 

Shouldn't be a problem. 

But don't tell Andy. He'll probably want to bring in the professionals. 

What with me so busy working on perfecting my secret recipe for beef jerky.

Happy weekend.

1 comment:

  1. Love you Jessie!! Tripping over the lantern --for some reason that really reminds me of you!! Ha Ha He He Ho Ho (as Weeso would say!!) AND speaking of Weeso --I always make my roast the way she did and in 36 years of marriage I have NEVER messed it up and I repeat NEVER!! It is always great!! How funny is that--that Weeso would have that legacy!! Call me and I tell you how I do it. The only time I ever messed up a pot roast was the ONE and ONLY time I did one in the oven. It was really dry and not good!! Wish I could help with the other things but our door bell hasn't worked in 12 years and I've never had a jacuzzi tub!! Really good with the pot roast thing though!! Would love to hear why Emily wanted to know if you were going to leave her any money!!!!!!!! Too funny!!!