Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Numbers Add Up

Last Monday morning Emily asked me to dig their old soccer jerseys out so that she and Anna could wear them to school.

Baby A was not down with that plan.

I know this because I am completely in tune with my children's dreams and desires.

Also, Anna came screeching out of the bedroom sobbing about something something Emily something something PINCHED ME something something BUT I DON'T WANT TO.


See? Totally in the tune.

Thankfully, I have an eight year old who is nosy in the know. She declared that Emily did indeed pinch Anna on the arm because she really wanted her to wear her soccer jersey to school.



Did you pinch your sister?


Are you telling the truth?



Darlin, you know that you need to use words when you want something. You aren't the boss of Anna and if she doesn't want to match you, she doesn't have to.  Also, you always need to tell mommy the truth, even when you think it's bad news. You're going to lose your tv privileges for two days for lying. And for the love, STOP PINCHING PEOPLE. 

I felt pretty good about my parenting prowess until she turned and proceeded to try to talk Anna into wearing the jersey.


Right in front of me.

After she lost her television.

(Which is pretty serious around here. Being cable free, she had just lost American Idol.)

(No DVR y'all.)

(I heart Harry.)

(That has zero to do with this story.)

And this time, she's in tears and has entered the land of indistinguishable words.

Something, something, why won't she help me, something, something, I just want to win the prize for my class....

Again, Lainey the Informed steps in to clarify things for me. They were encouraged to wear numbered sports jerseys all week. Each class would add up the digits and the class with the largest total number would win a little prize. A little community fun with sneaky math.

Nice move, teachers.

And my Emily just wanted to win.

She gets that from her Dad.

So I pulled my girl in for a hug and blessed her with my awesome wisdom.

Baby, if you had simply used your words from the beginning and explained why this was such a big deal to you, maybe Anna would have complied. And maybe she wouldn't have, but at least you wouldn't have lashed out at her and gotten in trouble as a result. I understand you're trying to help your class, but you have all week to do it.  Let's please remember to use our words, it's so important, okay?

Okay, mom. I'm sorry.

And then she turned and walked away.

In her obnoxiously yellow soccer jersey.

Big number zero.


I just let her teacher deal with that one.


  1. So. Much. Goodness. P.S. I'm pretty sure Friday's jersey should have a washi tape 9,999,999 on it. ;)

    1. that thought totally entered my mind. Except it was painter's tape and the number was slightly higher.

  2. 3 things:
    1. Good thing I wasn't enjoying a beverage while reading this. Belly laughs, I tell you.
    2. "And for the love, STOP PINCHING PEOPLE."
    3. I heart Harry, too.

    1. We keep finding things in common! Now I really know what to get you for your birthday......searching the google for "Harry cardboard cutout" now...

  3. Keep blogging 👍 Poor Em😉

  4. My water almost came out my nose...which put me into a coughing fit and now Kebo won't stop barking at me! Love your stories!!!

    1. Poor Kebo! Bless him, he has no idea what's going on, huh? Glad to give you a giggle.

  5. That is SO funny! You couldn't have made that up if you tried. Your girls are awesome :)

  6. Excited to see the blog post... LOVE it. And miss you!

    Makes me think I need to update the 'ol blog myself. Seeking motivation....

    (I'm certain all 3 people that read it would be soooo excited.)