Poop won, hands down.
Unfortunately, this conversation arose because I had just cleaned a pack-n-play, sheets, clothing and one child who had decided to play in her poop during nap time.
I'm not gonna name any names because to be honest they have both done it.
More than once.
I know, you feel sad for me.
It was also slightly unfortunate that we didn't have this conversation quietly or privately because there were two newlywed baseball wives, innocently sitting there, just taking it all in. I'm nearly certain they will never have children. EVER.
I am now more convinced then ever that we were correct in our analysis over which was worse. Because starting the night of my birth (September 9th,
Yes friends, that's 17 days.
Now it wasn't every day. When it started, Anna got it first, she threw up a few times in a 24 hour period as well as removed her diaper and pooped on the floor.
That was kinda funny, because Andy found it.
Twelve hours into Anna's bug, Emily started.
Now it's not so funny.
Not to be outdone or left out, Lainey started at the 48 hour mark.
And then someone in our house had vomiting and/or diarrhea for the next two and half weeks about every other day. I know, you're feeling very sad for me now.
Originally I had decided to pace myself with the Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. I had about a months worth, with a few extra on those rare days I would need two.
Who am I kidding? I was at two a day on day three of vomit laundry.
I hate vomit laundry.
I will give Lainey credit, as a nearly 4 year old, her aim has improved immensely.
The other two didn't get that memo.
I did so much laundry over the span of sickness our water bill was up $20.
I also decided that four crib sheets isn't enough. Some nights, the littles and I ended up on the couch. With towels.
Which is how you catch vomit from an aimless baby.
In case you were wondering.
Towels, lots and lots of towels.
Did I mention the water bill?
And now I am sure you are wondering, how in the beep did they keep getting this?
I wish I knew.
The following is a list of things I did to get rid of the germs.
*Open windows. Fresh air. Aaaahhh.
*Put the children outside, more fresh air.
*Sprayed so much Lysol the can started to malfunction and while trying to fix it, I shot myself right in the face with it. True story.
*Washed sheets, towels, clothes eighty-seven times. A day.
*Bleached the washing machine.
*Bleached the puke bucket.
*Bought a new toilet brush.
*Threw away stuffed animals.
*Threw away pillows.
*Bought new pillows.
*Boiled their toothbrushes. Twice. (I would have replaced them but they were BRAND NEW).
*Ran the dishwasher. Every night.
*Ran a special "wash your dishwasher" soap. I think they made that up. I fell for it.
Desperate times, people.
*Hand- mopped the kitchen floor. Which I have never done. In my whole adult life. (You can fuss as me for that later- when the puke trauma has passed.)
*And of course, on a daily basis, prayed to the Good Lord to MAKE IT STOP!
Eventually, it did. Although, both Andy and I still flinch every time we hear a little person cough or breathe funny over the monitor. And bless my hubby's heart, he had only been home from Buffalo for about three days when this all started.
Nothing says Happy Off-Season! like three projectiling children.
And I need to say, I would have been lost without him. He was amazing.
Except for the laundry.
I don't blame him.
He has a bad gag reflex.
At least, that's what he says......