Pants on the Ground (A Rerun)

It's been a long day. The Littles have staged a nap revolt which is kicking my tail. Literally and figuratively. Mama's tired, but I can't leave that picture of a booger up all weekend, now can I? So here's a little something that I posted last year. Hope it gives you a giggle. I'm almost to the point where I can look back on it and laugh.

Almost.



One afternoon this off-season my husband declared he'd had enough. Nearly ten years of marriage and he just couldn't take it anymore. His exact words were

Will you please pull your pants up!?!

I just smiled at him and moved on, because I was doing all I could.

I had my belt on for crying out loud.

Later, I was reclining on the couch, reading the paper and I felt someone staring at me. I looked up to see my sweet man, leering over me, swinging an old phone charger cord. I was pretty sure he wasn't getting ready to strangle me, but I relaxed a little when he said

Stand up, I'm gonna measure you.

Well, sure you are honey. I'm sure that's exactly what Vera Wang uses in a pinch.

He "measured" my waist, my hips, my legs, my knees and my bust. The last one was purely for him.

Silly boy.

After calculating all of his very precise measurements and lots of deep sighing he came to a startling realization.

I was missing six inches in the booty department.

Stop laughing.

Most jeans have a difference of approximately 10 inches between the waist and the largest part of the hips.

I have four.

Which totally explains the parking lot incident.

Ready for this one? I was taking all three gals in for groceries and knew I needed a cart. So I had a baby on each hip and Lainey holding my back jean pocket.

It was a fool-proof plan.

Until she tripped.

And pulled them down.

Which wouldn't have been a big deal except my panties went with them.

And I couldn't pull them up, because of said baby in each arm.

It's at this point that I would like to sincerely apologize to the mama walking behind us. Thank you for giggling quietly. Forgive me for mooning you. And your child. I hope you shielded her eyes from the glare. Here's hoping we never meet again. Ever.

I digress.

When my hubby gets something in his head, he doesn't relax until he knows everything about the subject. He researched inseams, pocket placement, proper measurement and things I didn't even know mattered. For a few days, I would find random pairs of pants lying on the bathroom floor where he had measured them.

And clearly forgotten to put them away.

I then knew he was completely serious when he mentioned a four letter word.

M-A-L-L.

For the record, in the twins entire first year of life we had been to the mall as a family exactly zero times.

So off we went. First stop, Chik-fil-A. Second stop, Macy's.

I tried on more jeans than I care to mention, but miracle upon miracles, there was a certain brand that FIT. I nearly shouted with joy. Until I saw the price tag. And then I teared up.

Those stinkin' dressing rooms can be such an emotional roller coaster.

But, what I didn't realize was this was purely research. My man had a plan.

It's called ebay.

So no more saggy bottom drawers for this mama. I am now the proud owner of three pairs of proper fitting jeans.

But I still wear a belt.

One can never be too careful.

The Nose Knows

The other night Andy and I were sitting on the couch while the Little people were talking amongst themselves. Anna came up to me, gabbing and waving her hands.


My noce iz init.

What, honey?

My noce iz init!

I'm sorry, baby, mommy doesn't understand. What are you saying?

MY NOCE IZ INIT!

And then she slapped this on my finger.



And that very moment her words became disgustingly clear.

my nose is in it.

Next week we start working on sentence structure.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Good

Turns out the Mr. looks just as fantastic in the uniform as a coach...

as he did when he was a player.




Shew.



Bad

The Littles weren't too sure about said man in the baseball uniform. I don't know if it was the hat, the shades or the combination of the two, but they weren't impressed. They wouldn't hug him, let alone stand near him for a photo.

It could be a long season.

(Emily scanning the field for her Daddy, seeing a bunch of look-a-likes, then heading back to the stroller in search of some vittles).




(Anna disgusted with Mommy because

Yoo sed going to Daddy's wurk. Daddy not here. Tan I have a snack?)




Ugly.

Mama forgot to pack snacks.

The end.

so long, farewell (for nana)

Update: I fixed the video so that it's no longer marked "private". So sorry about that! Have a great day.



Although I call Kentucky home, I was actually born in Ohio. My dad had a few different jobs over the years that required our little family of four to move. On more than one occasion my mom, younger brother and I had to stay behind while we waited for the house to sell or the school year to end.

During one of those seasons of life, my mom decided it would be a great time to introduce us to that great American treasure,

the musical.

We still refer to it as

the Summer of Musicals.

We watched Oklahoma, The Music Man, My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, Bye, Bye Birdie, South Pacific, Fiddler on the Roof, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and the list goes on and on (and on).

When you bring it up with my brother, he starts to twitch a little.

He'll be fine.

But me, I LOVED it. The songs, the dancing, the stories, all of it.

Because there's nothing like a show tune to teach a life lesson. I mean, it's a story put to music and music put in a story. Genius!

Like when I'm scrubbing the girls in the tub and bust out with

I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair

they know not to settle for anyone less than perfect.

And last week when we were attempting the whole potty training thing I was humming the tune to

Shipoopi from the Music Man.

It seemed appropriate.

Maybe it comes naturally to my girls, or maybe they can't help it because it's been practically forced upon them, but my girls have caught the bug.

They love The Sound of Music. And by love I mean they sing the songs from it

all.day.long.

Every day.

And so, in honor of Nana (my mom), who once forced shared the joy upon with me, here are my girls singing their current favorite tune.....




A few thoughts....

A) Clearly Lainey has entered the 4 year old bossy pants stage. It's loads of fun. And she's so serious about putting on her "show" she tells her beloved daddy to hush up.

I love it.

B) At about the 42 second mark when Anna (pink bow) lays down in the doorway, it's not because she's lazy or suffers from narcolepsy. She's playing the part of Gretl, waiting for her older sister to whisk her off her feet and carry her up the stairs.

Which is slightly unfortunate because her real older sister can barely lift her two inches off the ground and we are currently living in a one story

ranch.

C) Emily (purple bow). Oh Em. You've got to give this girl credit. Even though she runs into the wall (TWICE) she still comes back out to sing.

Because the show, it must go on.

D) Ham. Every family needs one, ours happens to be Anna Grace. I think all that chin bobbing really helped her nail that high note at the end.

E) If you watched that whole video, you may just qualify for sainthood.

Or maybe you should become a nun.........

Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
*Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, volume I, no. 183
(1780 - 1832)

{Emily}

PottyGate Update Part True

Despite what you may have gathered from yesterday's photos, things have not gone well on the old potty train.

Emily teased me early in day one. She happened to be sitting on the pot (finishing breakfast) when she started to toot so I was able to talk her through number two right off the bat.

That's when I thought

Yes! This isn't gonna be too bad!

Until I said

Good girl, Em, you POOPED ON THE POTTY! YAY!

And she said,

No, I watchin Cat in da Hat. Mo waffull peas (more waffle, please)?

No connection to what just happened.

Know what else she did that day? The stinker held her pee until 1:30 in the afternoon. Guess when she finally went?

While I was in the bathroom.

Oh Irony, we are no longer friends.

Thankfully she did it in the kitchen on the tile.

Unfortunately, she also tried to clean up the huge puddle herself. Which is how I found her. Standing in the buff, swishing pee across the floor with a broom.

I was only gone for 49 seconds.

Anna didn't even really want to sit on the potty for any significant period of time, unless she was being fed sugar.

Chocolate was her treat of choice.

But it took her .2 seconds to down the M&M's and then she was off and running to play.

Thankfully, most of her accidents were on towels strategically placed throughout the vicinity.

By the end of the second day, between the two girls ZERO pee had made it into the pink potties.

Nary a drop.

On top of that, Anna was now holding everything in.

Everything.

And poor Lainey was bored out of her gourd because we couldn't go anywhere.

So this pajama-clad-for-the-second-day mama made an executive decision.

No more die-hard potty training. For now.

We washed the pretty pink undies and put them away. The ladies are wearing pull ups during the day and from time to time they ask to sit on the potty.

We will just take it slow. I never wanted to stress them out or hurt their little digestive systems.

Now the real dilemma is

who in the world is going to eat that giant bag of M&M's I bought to bribe reward them with?

Sigh. The things a mother does for her children......


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So I'm in a little bloggy contest with other moms of multiples. Many of whom have blogs that I read! Despite that fact, I would still like to kick their tails. Or at least not come in last. So do this mama a favor, click on the pretty pinkish/purplish link and vote for the Gaggle. Just click on the orange "thumbs-up" next to our blog title.(You can vote every 24 hours until May 30th.) Thanks and goodnight.

PottyGate Update Part One

This whole potty-training-twins thing is going well.

Really well.



Thanks for asking!



And what about the nice rental-house carpet, you're wondering?

Not a problemo.



The whole process has gone so well, I'm thinking about starting them on long division next week.

Just for kicks.

 

to be continued.....

Oops, She Did It Again

My Lainey Bug is just like her mama, in more ways than one. She got my blue eyes, my bird legs and a deep fondness of all things musical.

She also got my superb coordination.

This is me, jumping.



Bless my heart.

And my children who have to overcome such um, issues to get their daddy's athletic ability.

About this time last year, we were in Port St. Lucie, FL for spring training with the Mets. It was unseasonably cool there last spring, so we spent alot of time at the park or going for walks instead of kicking it at the pool like we'd hoped. One night, right at the beginning of one of those walks Lainey went running ahead of the stroller to show the Littles

how fast she could run.

While wearing cr0cs.

We had barely made it to the next door neighbor's driveway when she went flying, head over heels and scraped up her sweet little face from forehead to nose.

She was a mess.

We were picking gravel out of her scalp for a week.



So just a few days ago, here in Arizona we had another incident.

And by we, I mean she. And by she I mean Lainey.

I know, you didn't see that one coming.

Neither did she.

I was in the kitchen and the Littles were playing with Daddy in the living room when we all heard

BANG

THUD

{Crap.}

(One of my worst fears is the kids chipping or breaking a tooth. Really. Every time they fall and land anywhere near their mouths I can't breathe until I check those chompers.)

(I have issues.)

I step around the corner to find my poor girl bawling and blood oozing out the side of her mouth.

Yikes.

We got her into the kitchen with a wet towel to her mouth and I kid you not, she spit a chunk of her lip out.

A CHUNK of her LIP.

OUT.

Into my hand.

Ew.

Now she's really sobbing because the blood is scaring her, the Littles are staring and jabbering

Nainey got a boo-boo? Nainey cwying?

And I'm still holding a piece of her lip.

While breathing a slight sigh of relief that it's not a tooth.

Turns out she tripped (over nothing) bounced off the wall and landed with a thunk on the hard tile floor. Somewhere during the course of that craziness her tooth went into her top lip and ripped it wide open.

And now, poor little lady has a seriously fat lip.



We haven't let her see the inside,

but it's not pretty.

Too add insult to injury, tonight after we got home from the park, I was emptying the bag and tossed her soccer ball through the sliding glass door, into the back yard

and directly into her the face.

She forgave me, after crying. Alot.

Oy.

Now, if I were a coordinated gal I would have hit her bottom lip.

You know, so she would match.

Happy Mother's Day! and a request...

 

 

So thankful for these little gals who call me mama. And for my sweet husband who made sure I had a great, relaxing day. Not only did he take over first thing in the morning, he loaded up the gang to get McDon@ld's breakfast. Which is my favorite.

I have very sophisticated taste.

But wait! He wasn't finished...While I got a pedicure he cleaned the kitchen. Including the mopping of the tile.

I hate mopping.

AND he cleaned the girls eat seats. Which may or may not have had remnants of their last meal.

In Kentucky.

Whoopsie.

And then...there was a gift certificate to the salon.

What more could a girl want?

And now, the request. Today is the day. I've avoided for quite some time. I can put it off no longer...

The littles are wearing big girl panties. And the pink potties are out.

It's potty time! Yeah, yeah it's potty time!

Normally I would just let them run naked for a few days, and watch too much kid t.v. (as Lainey calls it) while chugging down lots of water and juice.

However, we are living in a rental home. A rental home with really nice carpet.

Who knew those existed?

Anyhoo, if you have a spare moment, would you say a little prayer for these girlies? And their mama?

And the carpet?

Thank you and amen.

Hide and Seek - The Gaggle Guide

If you plan on making a visit to the Green household these days you should know a few things.

A) You will be tackled at the door. It's all in love. The twins call this "hugging".

B) You will be expected to play hide and seek. At least twice. Even if you're only staying for a few minutes.

C) You might want to lock the door when going to the restroom. Unless you don't want to go alone.

(Because really, who does?)

(Oh wait, I DO!)

About the hide and seek. There are a few rules you should be aware of. The seeker always counts to twenty(ish). Lainey can currently count to one hundred but gets a little excited about the prospect of yelling

I FOUND YOU!

so she barely makes it to twenty before making a break for it to start her search.

Also, whoever the adult player is that gets stuck with partnered with Emily, bless your heart. We love her. She cute. She's feisty.

She stinks at this game.

One afternoon all five of us were playing. Anna and I were standing in the master tub and Andy had inherited Em for the round. Lainey hadn't even reached the number twelve from her counting spot in the kitchen when I heard

*DING-DONG*

*DING-DONG*

That will teach Daddy not to hide outside when the FOUR YEAR OLD doesn't even know that's an option.

Emily just likes to be helpful.

(She also likes to jump up from behind beds and yell

I wite here! YAY! Yoo fine me!)

Speaking of Andy, once he moved into the tub after Lainey found me in it.

Because that doesn't make things difficult, either.

Then there's Anna. If you have to pick a twin to be on your team, she's your girl. She's better at this game than I am. If you put her somewhere and tell her to be quiet, she does.

For a really long time.

I'm not even sure she breathes.

Once I put her under a bench at the end of our bed and covered it with a blanket. She stayed there so long I've considered putting her back in there at nap time and just telling her to stay until Lainey finds her.

I'm a horrible mother.

So to recap:

*Lainey is a great counter, patient seeker. Totally loves the game.

*Anna is your go-to gal. Doesn't make a peep.

*Andy cheats gets creative with the rules.

*I always hide in the tub.

*Emily rings doorbells.

*Lock the door when you go to the bathroom.

And you're welcome.