In Which I Feel Small, Very Small

My little friend Lainey has what we call a flair for the dramatic. Loosely translated it means she cries over small things. Often.

Some days are better than others and some days I make her go sit in the dining room until she's done because

I'd rather not listen anymore.

So a few days back we were having a dining room kinda day. I was in the laundry room, probably working on getting magic marker out of Emily's pants (again) when I hear Lainey start to fuss.

I would like to say that I used good parental skills and checked out the situation before passing judgement, but actually I used a slightly exasperated, clearly frustrated, and a little louder than usual voice and said

Lainey, you'd better not be crying over something little!

Then Andy started calling my name and saying things like

Stop rubbing it sweetie, it'll be okay..Jess? JESS!?

Well crud.

I peeked around the corner and there on the floor sat my poor girl with both of her eyes completely covered in

lotion.

Not just any lotion. It was the perfume infused, smells like a lotus flower in a clover garden lotion from the mall.

All over her eyes. Huge globs.

At this point she's crying and trying to rub her eyes with hands that are also completely covered.

So I start profusely apologizing for being the meanest mommy ever all the while getting paper towels, wet washcloths and saline to take care of my poor little gal before her baby blues turn a permanent shade of red.

Thankfully she was fine within minutes of the incident, and we have a new

"no lotion on the face" rule.

Who knew we would need that one?

On a brighter note, Emily was so scared of impressed by the mean mommy voice she took it upon herself to stop writing on her pants.

It's the End of the World as We Know it, and I Do Not Feel Fine

Last Sunday we went to lunch with some friends after church. Between the two families we have five kids, so it wasn't a shocker that our conversation rolled around to topics such as potty training and how long is inappropriately long to keep a child in a crib. Our friend, Andrew, said that their four year old is in a big girl bed but still calls for them every morning when she wakes up to come get her out of it.

I like that plan.

And then I said something about Lainey being out of her crib since mastering the potty and that of course our Littles will be staying in their cribs until the day they can get out of them.

Right then and there I should have stood up in front of God and Ruby Tuesday's and yelled

I take it back! I'm totally kidding! I never meant to say anything about anyone being able to CLIMB OUT OF THEIR BEDS! Please, dear Lord, strike that comment from the record. Thank you and Amen.

But instead I just dug back into my salad and sliders, completely unaware of the travesty I had caused.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Superstitious? Really?

I'd like to say that I'm not. In most things in life, I'm a pretty level headed gal. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for those He loves and I believe His words to be true.

But I'm also a baseball wife. And you can't have been in the game for as long as we have without being at least a teensy, tiny bit superstitious. If you have ever sat through an extra inning game, it's because someone in the family section said

Wow, this game's going fast.

That will slow it down, every.single.time.

Also, if your loved one is struggling at the plate and then has a great night while you happen to be eating an extra large coney with cheese.....

You eat it again the next night.

Anything to help.

All that rambling to say, I'm not really superstitious. But I do think the good Lord has a sense of humor. Because two hours after that lunch......

Anna climbed out of her crib. The ironic thing here is that Emily is the more advanced one of the two when is comes to scaling tall buildings in a single bound.

So because it was Anna and not Emily, we chose to believe it was a fluke. Never gonna happen again. Andy even said

did you remember to put her in the bed?

Now listen, I know I can be absent minded at times. But nap time? That's the one part of the day where I can get things done without "help". I'm almost positive I wouldn't throw one gal in a bed and leave the other loose to torment her.

Almost positive.

So to play it safe, we gated the door that night. Know what's worse than a toddler who can get out of bed?

A toddler who can get out of her room.

The next morning when I got to the top of the stairs, there she was, my little Anna-Boo just hanging over the gate, waiting for someone to change her droopy drawers.

Apparently, this was not a fluke.

So we started panicking hashing out our options. Should she be punished? Do we put her mattress on the floor? What about a crib tent? Maybe bubble wrap? Or a staple gun?

Then we realized that this is just part of her development. She figured out how to get out of the darn thing, now we need to figure out how to keep her safe.

It wasn't really going to be an issue to take the side rail off her crib and put a toddler rail up. Except for one thing.

We have twins.

Have I mentioned that before? Oh really? Sorry.

Anyhoo, the new dilemma became what about Emily? Do we take her out too? Will they just run back and forth all night long? Will we ever sleep again? What if we don't take her out? Will she be traumatized by the freedom that her sister has? How much is therapy for a two year old? Will we ever sleep again?

So I called our pediatrician. Who immediately laughed at me (with me?).

Once the laughter subsided she assured me that we would not be harming Em's mental health by leaving her in the crib. She even said that it might be her safe place and we shouldn't take it from her until she lets us know she's ready.

She also said that we had to get Anna out, or make it safe for her to get out. She sees a broken clavicle and/or a broken arm every year from little ones who launch themselves out of their beds.

And so, Andy took the rail off that afternoon and so far no major calamities have occurred. She sleeps all night and Emily doesn't seem bothered by it at all.

Nap time, which I thought was going to be awful, has gone well, for the most part.

Except for that one day when both babies thought that pants and diapers should become optional.

Three times.

Will we ever sleep again?

Lots of Rest, Not Enough Sleep

So the blog has been a little quiet lately. I apologize. I've been busy eating bon-bons by the fire while reading People Magazine.

Ha! Like that would ever happen.

Actually, I was sitting by the ocean sipping margaritas and reading whatever I could get my hands on while stealing glances at this really cute boy.....



We ate, we slept, we read, we watched movies and we didn't have to change any diapers, or rub snotty noses, or do any laundry or cook any meals.

It was kinda nice.

I had big plans to sleep in. I knew it would take awhile to get in the groove. But I woke up every morning at 6:30 a.m.

I was sorely disappointed in myself.

Andy was a little irritated too.

The good news was when we showed up at early-thirty in the morning we got really amazing beach spots....



The bad news is, this is a photo of me with a tan....



We were able to get gussied up for dinner every night....



And make a few new friends....



Basically, we were completely spoiled. Truly.



But by the end of the trip, we were missing our little ladies quite fiercely.

I think the feeling was mutual.

 

Top Ten Reasons She's 3.5 Going on 13

10) She starts about eighty percent of her sentences with

"and I was like..."

Dude, I like, totally don't know where she got this one. Seriously.

9) She talks with her hands. Alot. No ideas on this one either. Really.

8) She clears her plate without asking. Sometimes before she's finished eating.

Sneaky.

7) When I ask her to do something involving a chore, she has a better suggestion.

6) She hugs her sisters without prompting.

5) She tells on her sisters at the first sign of mischief.

4) She loves the Sound of Music.

3) She always yells for me to

turn the music up, mama, I can't hear it!

from the back of the van. Clearly, it's loud enough if you have to

yell

to get my attention.

Ahem.

2) She recently glanced at my outfit and said

You gonna wear that?

1) And finally, at the ripe old age of 3 years and 9 months she's really starting to make a name for herself......

She Blames the Economy

Last Halloween all three girls dressed the same. It was really cute. But I didn't want to do it again.

I have no good reason. I just didn't.

Early in October Lainey decided to be Snow White. Awesome. I love it when a simple trip to Target takes something off my to-do list.

And then we saw the garden gnome costumes.

Eureka!

And so it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you

Snow White and the Two Gnomes Dwarfs.

Work with me, people.

(Unfortunately, due to the recession, Ms. White couldn't afford the other five.)

(Also unfortunate is the photography ability of Ms. White's mother. I didn't get ONE good photo of all three girls together. So here's a hodge-podge of so-so ones. Use your imagination and picture them walking hand in hand (in hand) down the road in to the sunset. Gracias.)





(Anna and Daddy)


(Emily)




The Posse


Yes, Lainey nearly froze her tail off because she said

MOM, Snow White doesn't wear pants.

Yes, both babies kept their hats on the whole time.

And yes, both of them were eating something every time I took a photo.

The were kindly (Courtney!) introduced to Dum-dums, Smarties, and M&M's.

It's a whole new world.

And I need to buy better toothbrushes.

In bulk.

The end.